I can trace my fear of abandonment back to my childhood. I was only 7 or 8 years old when I got in some trouble (I don’t remember even what for 🤷🏼♀️). As punishment I was left home as my mom and my siblings went to visit my grandmother. After she got in her car and started backing out the driveway, I ran out of the house after her, down the gravelly drive, and then the deserted country road we lived on with my bare feet screaming and sobbing as loudly and ugly as only a child that age can. I ran, screaming and crying until her car faded and was no longer in sight.
…
As an adult I have a close, loving relationship with my mother. Still, I have never talked to her about this. It took me years to understand why I would hang onto unhealthy relationships far past their expiry date. But I did. Constantly abandoning myself, my needs, and my desires in my efforts to show up for others in hopes of being accepted and loved by them. I would run after unhealthy men as quickly as I had ran after my mother. Desperate for them to turn around and acknowledge me, to make me feel ok.
…
Then, I did something. I started showing up for myself. My brain shifted. I began making myself a priority. I said yes to those things I wanted regardless of whether or not someone else wanted them. I stopped abandoning myself, my needs, and my desires. I exercised boundaries. And in the process I began to respect and love myself. I became less afraid of losing someone. I became more committed to attaining the things my heart desired.
…
Healing requires intentionality. Showing up for ourselves every day in every way. When we show up for ourselves we tell ourselves that we matter. That we are worthy. The result is self love and self acceptance. And that is what matters most 🤍
•
•
•
•
•
•
