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Ladies, it is up to you to communicate your needs. So often women think “if he loves me he’ll know what I want”. This is utter nonsense.
Wanting money for security isn’t wrong. It doesn’t mean she needs yours, gentleman. Plenty of women create their own security. But they sure don’t need another child to take care of either. And wanting to find a partner who is capable of providing security isn’t wrong. Women don’t need to be shamed for wanting as much.
I know it’s easy to peg “men” or “women” as the problem. But the truth is, that’s simple thinking for complex problems. The opposite sex isn’t your problem. Their “demons” are. And by “demons” I mean the unhealed parts of them.
Over 35 and never married became a big one for me. I know it won’t for everyone. And I’m sure plenty of men have committed after the age of 35 and been lovely. Personally, I wasn’t willing to be another experiment for those men. I would also add, any man who couldn’t take accountability for past failed relationships. Personally, someone who can admit to their part of what went wrong has strong character and is more trustworthy. In my view anyway.
Will your values “turn him off”? Well if he’s not the right one, yes, and they SHOULD. It’s the whole point of having them.
Empathy doesn’t go one way. It goes ALL ways. If you’re offended at my empathy for abused men, you know the way out. I’m not here to coddle anyone. Men or women alike. If you’re a dick, you’re a dick. Sorry for the gendered expression but you catch my drift. No matter what gender you are. Don’t be one.